The Relocation Quandary
by Miss Carmeli
Summary: Amy gets a job offer: a permanent position in a high-tech lab...in Norway. One-shot


**Scene 1**

Leonard and Penny arrive at the apartment to find Sheldon in his spot, playing a videogame. He is squinting at the screen, harder than usual.

**Penny: **Something wrong with whatever that is you're playing?

**Sheldon:** You don't even know what this is, how can you tell something is wrong with it?

**Penny: **Well, I can tell something is wrong with you. I mean, other than the usual "wrongs". So, I figured it must be the game.

**Leonard: **Oh, I see you're drinking at that tavern again (referring to the screen). You having trouble with Amy?

**Penny: **Right. I forgot you're partial to digital alcohol.

**Sheldon: **And it's still better than the real drinks you prefer entirely, which induce vomiting and headaches. Not to mention, memory impairment.

**Penny: **(rolls eyes). What did you do to Amy this time?

**Sheldon: **I didn't do anything. In fact, we have not seen or communicated with each other today.

**Penny: **Interesting. She didn't mention anything earlier but she did seem a little tired.

**Sheldon: **That's exactly what troubles me. Why would she choose to hang out with you instead of me? It seems like she's avoiding me.

**Leonard:** She's probably just taking some time off from your nonstop whining about, well, everything.

**Penny: **Sheldon, just go talk to her.

**Sheldon: **You're right. For all I know, she could be preparing something hippie-dippy for us again. I better stop her before she goes any further.

**Scene 2**

Amy's apartment. She opens the door after Sheldon's ritualistic knock.

**Amy: **What are you doing here? I told you I am not feeling well.

**Sheldon: **I just need to ask you something. (Amy cuts him off)

**Amy: **Couldn't you have done that over the phone?

**Sheldon: **Obviously, I can't. I came here to actually confront you on that matter: Are you avoiding me?

**Amy: **Sheldon, I just need some time off…not everything is about you, you know.

**Sheldon: **Don't you think I know that? Of course, everything isn't about me…yet. When I get my Nobel then it will be. (Amy sighs)

**Amy: **I can't deal with you right now, Sheldon. I have problems of my own, too. I, uh, I need to be alone.

**Sheldon: ** Fine. But wait… you're not arranging some hippie activity for us again, are you?

**Amy: **No. Just go.

**Sheldon: **Okay, I just want to make sure.

(Amy closes the door to his face. Sheldon lingers awhile in front of her door, puzzled. He hesitantly walks away and then stops midway. He turns around and knocks on Amy's door again.)

**Amy: **What? (visibly annoyed)

**Sheldon: **I am your boyfriend.

**Amy: **So?

**Sheldon: **If you have problems, you should tell me. And, you know, I am super smart so I can probably help you.

**Amy: **Sheldon…

**Sheldon: **Please.

(Amy pauses for a moment then held the door open to let her boyfriend in. He steps in and sits down on the couch and waits for her to talk. She takes the other side of the couch, far from him.)

**Amy: **I got a job offer. It's a permanent position in a high-tech university lab—

**Sheldon: **That's good news. I can't see why—

**Amy: ** In Norway.

**Sheldon: **Oh.

(Silence ensues. Suddenly, it seems that they cannot find the words to say to each other. They are sitting at opposite ends of the couch, not looking at each other. It is serious and tensed. )

**Amy: **If you were—

**Sheldon: **How badly—

(Both stopped to let the other one proceed. Sheldon takes the lead)

**Sheldon: **How badly do you want this job?

**Amy: **I don't know but it is a great opportunity. I spent a semester there before so I know I could do substantial work there with the best people in my field. (She pauses for Sheldon's reaction but he remains silent.) If you were in my position, what will you do?

**Sheldon: **Well—(She cuts him off again)

**Amy: **Don't bother. I think I know what you'll do. (Sheldon frowns. It takes a while before he manages to speak again.)

**Sheldon: **We can maintain a relationship, long-distance. I'd like that.

**Amy: **But you know I don't want that. It's not just you, there's Penny and Bernie and the others. If I'll relocate, I will be sad. I have to move on and start again.

**Sheldon:** You're in the right path then. We should stay away from each other so we'll know if this is the right thing to do. (He pauses to think) How about a week?

**Amy: **I concur. We should not see each other, talk to each other. In other words, we'll break up for a week.

**Sheldon: **Yes. A trial breakup and if it turns out fine, then we'll see if…(he stops and swallows, as if the words are hard to say) if we'll make it permanent so you can move on, make new friends and maybe find a new (he breathes in) uhm, boyfriend. That's only logical.

**Amy: **That's probably best.

**Sheldon: **I should go now. I guess its good bye for now, Dr. Fowler.

**Amy: **Goodbye, Dr. Cooper.

(They give a final look at each other's unsmiling face before Amy closed the door.)

**Scene 3**

The following day, everyone already knows the setup. Amy told Bernie and Penny. Sheldon told Leonard, who told Raj. It is lunch time at Cal tech, the 4 guys are on their usual places:

**Leonard: **I still disagree with the way the two of you chose to deal with this situation.

**Sheldon: **And how do you propose to do it? Ah, no, wait. I remember your setup with Priya, so, I don't care what you think.

**Howard: **We're just saying it is an unnecessary separation.

**Sheldon: **(sighs) How many times do I have to explain this to all of you? (pauses) Actually, I am done explaining.

**Raj: **You can't blame us. It's been only half a day you haven't talked to her and already you are a big pain in the ass.

**Howard: **Yeah, bigger than usual.

**Leonard: **You have to admit this setup is more difficult for you than for Amy. I don't know where you'll find another person who has the patience to put up with you as Amy has.

**Sheldon: **That is preposterous. I am actually enjoying this. Now, I have more time for videogames and comics. I wouldn't have to sit through the stories of how her day went. If anyone's having a difficult time, it is Amy.

**Raj: **Yeah, because she hit the boyfriend jackpot with you. (Sheldon nods in agreement, missing the sarcasm. Howard and Raj laugh smugly)

**Howard: **What do you say we tell Burt about this?

**Sheldon: **Burt from Geology? What does he have to do with this?

**Raj: **He's interested in Amy. He used to bring her cute rocks before we helped Amy get rid of him. Oh boy, I'm sure he'd grab the chance to ask her out again. Hell, he'd follow her to Norway if he could.

**Sheldon: **Excuse me. (breathes in and out to calm himself). I suppose Amy is free to see anyone for the duration of this trial. But I assure you my girlfriend will not replace me with some dirt person.

**Leonard: **Just don't go off buying cats if she does.

**Sheldon: **That's it. I've had enough of you people. From now on until the end of the week, no one is allowed to bring up Amy's name, my relationship with her or this trial we're doing. (Stands up and leaves)

**Leonard: **He's right. Let's just support them. One of them is bound to give up eventually anyway.

**Howard: **That is if one of us doesn't give up first. Did you see how cranky he was?

**Raj: **If they ended up separating for real and Amy leaves…honestly, I'm scared for us.

**Leonard: **Try not to think about it.

**Scene 4**

Next day. Dinner at Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. Everyone is there except Sheldon and Amy.

**Bernadette: **I kinda miss Amy already.

**Penny: **Me too.

**Raj: **But she's right. It's for the best. She needs someone to take care of her too and we all know Sheldon's a little unfit for the task.

**Howard: **A little?

**Bernadette: **Howie, don't be like that.

**Penny: **Yeah, Sheldon tries in his own way to change. Amy knows that.

**Raj: **Of course she does, otherwise she would've run away from him sooner.

**Leonard: **Hush, Sheldon's coming. No more Amy talk.

(Sheldon comes in.)

**Leonard: **So how's the comic book store?

**Sheldon: **Oh it's superb. I got new comics to read tonight. I have to say I'm really enjoying this free time. I going to my room.

(Despite saying it's superb, Sheldon's face registers no emotion. He walks to his room and inadvertently bangs the door.

**Penny: **That bad, huh?

**Howard: **Yeah. This afternoon, I dropped by his office and saw him get excited over one equation and I think he almost called Amy.

**Leonard: **Oh and on our way home in the car, I made a joke, he laughed so hard.

**Bernadette: **I don't get it. How is that unsual?

**Leonard: **He was so silent in the car. It was awkward so I felt compelled to crack a joke. The thing is my joke was terrible. Not even I found it funny.

**Penny: **Yes, Leonard is not very good with jokes.

**Raj: **I wonder how Amy is doing.

**Howard: **I sneaked in her lab earlier. She looks distracted. But not as distracted as that one (points at the direction of Sheldon's room)

(Sheldon all of a sudden storms out of his room, furious.)

**Sheldon: **I can hear all of you from my room. No, I am not distracted. I did not almost call Amy. And yes that joke was terrible but I was being considerate. I can't believe you, people.

**Penny: **Sheldon, we're sorry. Here sit down. Maybe you're just hungry. We save you some dumpling.

**Sheldon: **(still mad, he was almost shouting, like a child having a tantrum) I don't want dumplings!

**Leonard: **We also have chicken, prepared just the way you like it.

**Sheldon: **I don't want chicken! I am not hungry!

**Bernadette: **(in her authoritative voice) Then go back to your room and read your comic books.

**Sheldon: **I don't want to go to my room! I don't want to read comic books tonight!

**Leonard: **(exasperated) Then what do you want?

**Sheldon: **I WANT MY GIRLFRIEND!

(Everyone, including Sheldon, is shocked by the outburst.)

**Penny: **Oh Sheldon, you know what to do.

(Sheldon stomps his feet, gets his coat and bag and leaves the apartment. He looks really pissed.)

**Raj: **That was unexpected. I thought he's gonna last at least three days. I can't believe it: our smelly Shelly really got it bad.

**Howard: **No kidding.

**Scene 5**

Amy's apartment. Sheldon knocks three times, but it was very loud. Amy opens the door.

**Amy:** Sheldon, are you trying to break my door down?

(They are both irritated but when their eyes met, their breathing slowed down. They gaze at each other for a long time…Sheldon takes a deep breath and now calmly speaks)

**Sheldon: **May I come in?

(Amy has relaxed too)

**Amy: **I don't think this is a good idea, we still have five days. (Sheldon's eyebrows start to furrow. Amy sees this) Ahm, yes, you should come in.

(Sheldon comes in and just like their previous conversation, they sat at opposite ends of the couch. Again, silence.)

**Sheldon: **You're wrong you know.

**Amy: **About what?

**Sheldon: **If I were in your situation…(pauses, then changes his statement)You should not leave me.

**Amy: **And why is that?

**Sheldon: **Because you will not find another one like me anywhere.

**Amy: **Some would consider that a fortunate situation.

**Sheldon: **Other people would; you won't. …And if I were in your position, I wouldn't leave you either.

**Amy: **You wouldn't?

**Sheldon: **I won't. Because I'm also sure there's no one else like you anywhere. There may be other Sheldons in other universes but I know that in none of them is there a Sheldon who is separated from the Amy of that universe. And, I will definitely not allow that to happen in this one.

(Amy is tearing up but she remains in her place in the couch and averts Sheldon's eyes.)

**Sheldon: **That, of course, depends on you, if you will still have me.

(Amy nods. Sheldon moves closer to her, pulls her to him and hugs her tightly. Amy hugs back.)

**Amy: **I'm sorry. That trial breakup was stupid. I don't know why I agreed to it. I was actually renegotiating their offer before you storm off in here two days ago to ask if I was avoiding you. I guess I wanted to see for myself if I can manage without you.

**Sheldon: **And did you? It certainly felt like you did.

**Amy: **Oh, I wish. I made a huge mess at my lab today. (sighs) But I did manage to get them to change the job offer. I only have to go there once a month every year, if I want to use their facilities. They say I can supervise their research remotely from here. So, there's no more problem. We can even spend our vacations together there.

**Sheldon: **Great. Maybe we can talk about that later. I have a lot of stories to tell you, too. But we still have more important business to attend to.

**Amy: **Yes? And what is that?

(Sheldon answers with a sexy smile. He pulls her closer and leans in. End.)


End file.
